Yeah, yeah, I spelled it the European English way, so sue me... after looking at website after website with it spelled "behavior" it just looks like it's spelled wrong.
Perhaps the topic isn't so much behaviour modification as it is "Getting your kids to just freakin' listen to you when you talk". This morning, we had a meltdown over shoes. Yes, shoes. By a nine year old. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder who is the younger of my two children.
One of the things that I have read has to do with behaviour regression before a growth spurt... well, if that is the case, then Ethan should have been growing for the last year and should be taller than me by this point. He's not. I understand the notion of testing boundaries and seeing what it is that you can get away with before mom snaps and either grounds you, takes something away, or as the case was when we were kids, spanks you. (I still believe that there is a time and a place for corporal punishment, and I think all of the 'lovey parenting' is part of what is wrong with teenagers, now, don't misinterpret that as me saying, "please, by all means, go beat your children" - sooooo not what I am saying) I think that a lot of the things that we were punished for as children now go by the wayside. There are certain things in our current culture that have become acceptable that really shouldn't be.
That having been said, how on earth do we make mornings easier? How do we not argue over the shoe selection? (the issue was he wanted to wear his "skate shoes" that looked absolutely ridiculous with his shorts, instead of the brand new Asics running shoes that are a white base with a metallic blue and black logo - as far as running shoes go, they are pretty sweet) How do we get them out of bed on time and without the fights about brushing teeth, washing faces, combing hair...
I did some online searching and found some behaviour contracts that will be signed tonight, as well as some chore charts, and scheduling charts. Hopefully a visual reminder will serve as, well, something. I can only read so many parenting books and make so many suggestions before I seriously say, forget it, I'm done. I'm so tired of the fighting and the arguing and the general unhappiness around here. I try and try to combat it and stay positive, but it's really difficult. I know that the economy is weighing on everyone's minds, including all of our kids, especially when we say things like, "nope, we can't get that, no money right now" or "it's going to have to wait until payday"...
I know that we have things better right now than our grandparents and great grandparents who lived through World Wars and the great Depression, but to our kids, it is one and the same... so, now, how do we raise kids like they did... with a sense of purpose, drive, and determination instead of a sense of entitlement, laziness, and the willingness to let others take care of things?
about vacation.
10 years ago
3 comments:
Hmm. I hope this doesn't sound like a critique of your parenting, because I'm genuinely curious: why would it have been an issue if he wore the skate shoes? I can see if it was a safety thing (sandals in the winter, for example), or if they were really *skates* or something. But as a style thing, I'm wondering why there needed to be an argument? Maybe he thought they looked great with his shorts.
Even if he did look ridiculous, wearing a ridiculous outfit and getting called out on it by friends might be a quicker route to putting the Asics in frequent rotation than "because Mom said so," eh? :)
It was more the fact that there was crying and screaming over it. If he had come to me and **CALMLY** said something like "Mom, I would just really like to wear the black skate shoes today", chances are there wouldn't have been an issue. Lately, his behaviour has been ridiculous, and he argues just to argue... it really had nothing to do with the actual shoes. He has been very concerned with his appearance as of late, and had he been made fun of at school, I would've gotten a call from school saying that he was bawling in the office... (they're also wearing out and not in the best shape - jeans hide that, shorts don't...)
Ah, crying and screaming over said shoes? Yeah, totally agree -- not cool. :)
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